The Ghost of Hotel Doom
by TigreMalabarista
Summary: A trip to a ghost hotel haunted house brings surprises and scares for all the guests, especially Ralph, Bill and Pam. Part of the Black Cat or a Tux? challenge. Rated T for haunted house violence, mild language.


A trip to a ghost hotel haunted house brings surprises and scares for all the guests, especially Ralph, Bill and Pam. Part of the "Black Cat or a Tux?" challenge. Rated T for violence, mild language. Thanks to Jo and Claye for beta'ing.

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A beautiful full moon cast a pale glow over the many guests daring to enter "Hotel Doom." Hundreds of people, dressed up for Halloween, waited in line for their turn to enter the ghost hotel, which had been turned into a three story haunted house.

"Ralph, are you sure you want to do this?" said Pam, who was dressed in a emerald green flapper outfit, as she saw the man pace back and forth in line. Ralph decided he'd just wear the suit in broad daylight as his costume.

Realizing Pam was watching him, Ralph stopped and smiled. "Yes, honey, you said you wanted to go to 'Hotel Doom' and I promised I'd go in there again. I mean, I did make it through last year."

"Yes... the second time. Did you bring anything we could use to bring you around with?" said Pam with a smile. She couldn't help but kid Ralph after last year. He was fine until they went into a room that was totally black save a few red and orange squiggles lit up by blacklight. Things would reach out and grab at guests, and also featured a series of red lights that were paired as though eyes.

The combination proved disastrous for Ralph, who wasn't wearing the suit as a costume and had just dealt with the guardian of the fourth dimension a month earlier that year. When the person who grabbed his ankles pinched a little too hard on a nerve, he thought it was the beast again and ran into a wall trying to escape. Not only that, after crashing he hyperventilated to the point he passed out, causing the owners to close the haunted house for a half hour so he could be treated and repairs to the wall made.

"Funny Pam. I brought a packet of spirits of ammonia, but I don't plan on running into walls again," said Ralph with a frown as he lifted up an arm to show the packet in a suit sleeve. "Besides, might as well have it for our favorite agent, just in case. It is his first time to go through one."

"Cute kid, real cute," said Bill, who decided to just wear his madras jacket over his normal dress shirt and slacks. "I'm no sissy needing smelling salts and a fainting chair. Made of the strong stuff."

Pam cocked an eyebrow. "Really, then why is this your first time in a haunted house?"

"Well... Carlisle made me dress up as a clown and hand out balloons to kids at the kid's Hallofest near the bureau," said Bill as the trio reached the entrance.

After they all paid their fee, the group gathered in the main lobby with a few other guests. A man, dressed in what Bill surmised as an old elevator operator outfit, entered. "Welcome to the Hotel Doom. I'm the Concierge here," said the man in an eerie voice. Now, just as a reminder before we go through the haunted house, for your safety if you have had problems with strobe lights, smoke machines or blacklights, please do not go through. Also, please do not touch any thing or creature in the haunted house. Finally, there are several exits throughout the haunted house if you get too scared. Otherwise, please relax... if you can."

The group chuckled and got things ready to enter. Pam and Ralph turned to Bill and smiled at the look on the agent's face. "Bill, are you scared already," kidded Pam as she saw him pale slightly.

Bill cleared his throat. "Nah, a guy in a monkey suit? It looked like it had a goatee for a tie. C'mon Counselor. I'm made of stronger stuff. Now Ralph here you might have to worry about."

Ralph rolled his eyes. "Funny Bill, but you remember that last's year's incident wasn't too long after we had to deal with Sheila Redmon," he said as the group all gathered near the elevator door to go to the first level. Once they entered, a female tour guide joined them and went up one floor to the guest rooms.

The tour guide began telling a story about how the hotel dealt with an earthquake back in the 1920s and several people who died in it still haunt the hotel. The elevator doors opened and the group walked through a maze full of open doors to what appeared to be shaken up rooms.

Entering the first one, the group quietly looked at a mother taking care of her child. Suddenly, there was a bang on the door shouting for them to leave or they'd die. Pam squealed slightly, and Ralph held on to her, before laughing. Bill, however rolled his eyes in boredom. They continued through all the rooms until they reached the elevator for the next level of the tour.

When the elevators opened, a more traditional haunted house laid out before them, featuring in this case an insane asylum. The group entered in the rooms to find people being "tortured" on racks and beds, given cold water baths... while clothed, just a variety of scenes in addition to someone as an asylum patient jumping out from time to time and scaring them.

Everyone, including Bill, got a particular scare when they went into the operating room and found a "barely conscious" patient there. When all of them were in there listening to the patient saying a warning, a mad doctor kicked the door in, carrying a fake knife.

The group jumped back and a few screamed when she started shouting at them to leave or she'd extract their tongues. Bill, however, got scared to the point that he reached for his revolver. Ralph, catching the movement, grabbed his hand and pulled it down, keeping a hold of it. Fortunately, the suit helped him keep Bill from moving it back up, but the agent still looked like he wanted to badge or slug the woman. The woman playing the doctor just glared at the two and asked Bill in character to leave the room to go play with his "friend."

Before the agent could retort, Ralph put his other hand around Bill's shoulder and walked him out into the main area with Pam following to go down the next room. "Bill, you've got to remember this is not real. She wasn't going to actually stab anyone," scolded Ralph.

"She could've been legit. Sure looked the part."

"Bill, look and act are two different things, especially here. They test everyone for drugs and do a criminal background check before they're hired in 'Hotel Doom.' You could've gotten us thrown out if not sued for that," said Pam as the tour guide chided them to continue.

"Besides why do you have your gun?" quizzed Ralph. "This is a haunted house, not a drug ring."

"Insurance. I don't care what you two say, ya never know if someone will actually go after someone or want to steal your wallet in here."

Ralph rolled his eyes as they entered a room totally lit up with red and orange squiggles courtesy of blacklights. "Bill, all you'd done is probably made her faint and then we'd all get banned from every haunted house in California," he said, giving a slight yelp himself when one of the workers grabbed at his ankles. He barely shook off the person's grip, so as to not accidentally throw them through the room courtesy of the suit's strength. The person in turn was surprised that such a simple shake could remove his hand easily, but he chalked it off to adrenaline on the person's part.

As they exited, they reached the elevator to reach the third and final level. "Well so far so good," said Ralph, chuckling. "Got through that room all right this year."

Bill did a double take at Ralph's comments. "Of everything we've seen so far, _that_ was the room you decided to run away from in a panic and pass out?" he said, causing the rest of the group to chuckle.

Ralph blushed. "Hey, everyone can be squeamish about things sometimes. It just happened that one was mine last year."

No sooner did the elevator door opened did they see a figure dressed in black and white sweep across the elevator, screeching along the way.

After gasping from fright, Pam chuckled and turned to Ralph. "Was that a black cat? Or a tuxedo?" she asked.

"How about a hepcat dressed in a black zoot suit," said the tour guide with a slightly wicked smile as she exited.

Ralph and Pam looked at each other and chuckled. "Could be both. They have had strays around here, and it's possible that one got its tail stepped on at the same time," he whispered.

"Great, there goes my allergies again," grumbled Bill as they exited and trailed the others. "Hope the rest of the scary stuff's here then we can get some burgers."

"Sounds like Bill's thinking this is boring," said Pam, chuckling when Bill scoffed.

The trio entered a room to see a catafalque complete with open - and empty - coffin in a room lit up as though it had a fireplace. A vampire was "biting" a woman's neck, causing her to "collapse" in a trance. He picked her up and put her in the coffin then started his spiel. "Who dares to enter my realm?" his voice boomed. "No matter, you will join me in the un... AHHHH!"

Ralph, Bill and Pam jumped back in fright, but after hearing a thud, saw that the person himself had passed out. "What the hell? How could we scare him?" asked Bill as he kneeled and checked the man's pulse. Pam went over to the corner and rummaged through the items to see if the worker had water to drink after he came to.

The woman who was playing the vampire bride, heard the commotion and sat up in the coffin. "Hey, is Jeff all ..." she turned to look at the group, and her eyes widened in shock. Seeing her pale, Ralph walked up to her. "Are you OK?" he asked, only to see her eyes roll back into her head and start fall backward.

Ralph caught the woman as she slumped back into the coffin. "Bill, she just passed out too," he said, growing concerned.

"Oh great, gotta buncha pansies workin' here. Is she OK Ralph," said Bill, not looking at the man.

"Yeah, I think so," he said as he picked her up in his arms and got her out of the coffin to lie on the ground as well. "What would cause them both to faint like that? You think it could be too stuffy in here?"

Bill turned around to answer, only to pause and swallow hard. Pam turned to look at Ralph and she too went wide-eyed in surprise. Ralph, for once that night, was truly scared. "Come on guys, don't you two go out too. What is it?"

"Ralph, you look like those blacklight pictures we saw a while ago," said Bill in a voice about half an octave higher.

"What? Come on, if that was true, I would've already scared half of the people in the elevator."

"I don't know about that Ralph, but he's right, hun," said Pam as she produced a small mirror from her handbag. Ralph looked in it and realized what was wrong. His face and skin were glowing a weird blue tinge... almost the kind you'd see on a corpse, and the jammies were glowing a bright, fiery red. No question the suit was the cause of the glowing.

"Oh no..." said Ralph. "No wonder they freaked out. Why is the suit doing it?"

Before any of them could answer, the three paled when they heard footsteps heading their way. "Great, now what do we do?" said Ralph.

"Lie in the coffin, turn invisible, do something to get outta here, or we'll need more than those smelling salts you have."

Not liking the idea of lying in a coffin, Ralph nodded and started to turn invisible. Pam stopped him. "Ralph, wait, hand over those smelling salts," she said.

"Oh, right," he said, and afterward, turned invisible. The tour guide walked in and saw Bill trying to revive the two people lying on the floor with the ammonia spirits. "What happened?" she asked, concerned.

"Both of them fainted," said Pam simply as one of the workers stirred.

Jeff opened his eyes and winced. "Man, what was that thing that entered the room? Did you see it?" he said, groggily. Shortly afterward, the female worker came around.

Bill decided to jump in and told a story himself. "Yeah, I saw it too. It was a ghost and it just popped in the room," he said with a slight humor in his voice.

Pam decided to continue instead. "He's joking. We entered to see your room and you two did your act. You must have straightened up too quickly and fainted. Your co-worker heard you hit the ground and pretty much did the same thing getting out of the coffin. It's probably because it's pretty stuffy in here."

The vampire bride nodded as she stood, but then paused in thought. She then realized that Ralph was gone. "Where's your friend?" she asked groggily.

"Oh he went to get help," said Pam. "He's not too fond of haunted houses and figured it'd be better to help out that way."

No sooner did Pam say that though did Ralph lose his concentration and turn visible, still in the blacklight look. He looked at the group with a sheepish grin, but seeing the group's faces, decided he might as well have fun. "BOO!" he shouted, and the group scattered in terror, leaving the three in the room alone.

Pam looked at Ralph and frown. "_Ralph, _that was not funny," said Pam.

"Just trying to make some light out of the situation," he said jokingly. "Now, what do we do about this? The suit might've reacted to the blacklights, but I can't stay a photograph negative forever."

"No. Why don't we go through the rest of the haunted house and see if there's anything that will reverse it. If someone comes by, just pop invisible so you don't scare them," said Pam.

"I'd especially do it right now around the tour group," said Bill.

"OK, but what if nothing works?"

"Well, you might just have to go through that room again and see if that works," she said.

Ralph nodded, hoping they were right, and after turning invisible they met up with the tour group. After the guide said the two from the vampire room were downstairs being taken care of, they continued the rest of the tour, which featured a smoke machine and strobe lights. Ralph did blink in visible again, but because of the way the lights worked, he looked like a regular monster in the venue, so he didn't scare anyone too much.

As they reached the exit, Ralph turned back visible and tapped Bill on the shoulder from behind, causing the agent to jump. "Geesh, don't do that Ralph. Especially in a haunted house and you're still a negative," said Bill. He opened his eyes and looked at Ralph. "Kid, you're..."

"I'm what?"

Pam smiled. "You're back to yourself."

Ralph looked down and saw that he and the suit were back to normal. "Huh. Guess the strobes and the fog counteracted the blacklight the suit absorbed. Still, I wish it didn't do that..."

The tour guide, who had the door opened, let it close and walked over to the trio, frowning. "I thought you went and got help," she said.

"I did, but they let me return and join the tour group."

The guide wasn't convinced. "Really... or was it to scare more people? I just talked to our ill workers and they said that they saw someone looking like you wearing what you've got on before they fainted."

"Well, my guess is there's a new ghost in there - literally. The kind that mimics people and their clothing," said Bill with a cough.

"Really? Even looking just like your friend?"

"Yes, exactly," said Pam. "After all, it's Hotel Doom and people could get haunted by their pasts. Look at the rooms. For all we know a real ghost could turn any of us invisible at a moment's notice."

Ralph, realizing Pam was giving him a hint, turned invisible briefly, startling the guide. The tour guide gasped in surprise when Ralph reappeared. Continuing with the ruse, Ralph acted a bit disoriented. "W... what...?"

Bill and Pam grabbed Ralph's arms to 'steady' him. "Uh, kid, you just got gotten by some ghosts," said Bill hurriedly. "Why don't we get outta here before they keep making copies of ya and turn ya invisible again and such and we have to play 'Where's Ralph'..."

Ralph nodded and the three left as fast as they could, confusing the tour guide. After a moment, she realized what she saw and what they said would be a great addition to the "history" of the hotel.

Once outside, the trio sighed in relief. "I _never _want to go into a haunted house again," said Bill.

"Me too, well at least in the suit," said Ralph.

"I will say one thing though hun," said Pam with a smile.

"What?"

"Even though I didn't like you scaring the group, you made a cute ghost. Now, why don't the three of us go out to dinner then we can catch that movie on TV. 'Carrie' is on tonight."

"That movie?" said Ralph with a chuckle. "Isn't that the one where the guy gets hit over the head with a pail at the prom before she sets it on fire? Where did they get that idea anyway. ..."

"I don't know, but it sure is creepy. The dame reminds me of Shelia Redmon," said Bill. "You know, ya've never told me about how she behaved while she was in me Ralph."

Ralph chuckled and turned to Pam. "Well, would you like to hear a real ghost story?"

"Yes, just don't turn into one again."

Ralph chuckled and the three headed toward the restaurant to share their experiences with ghosts, living and dead.


End file.
